F...ing Deer.

I've been driving (legally) for over 20 years. Up until last October, I had never hit a deer. I watch for deer as if they are on every road around here. Because the damn things are. We were on our way into church in October and took out the front end of our Bravada with a deer. Luckily we were insured. (defn. of Insured: Gambling a recurring amount to wager that you will hit a deer, while the insurance company takes your money to use it to bet that you will not. You still lose.)

This morning, I was fortunate enough to have a deer poop on my windshield. Of course, a few things happened immediately before this astounding event.

1. deer races from thick dense brush into the path of my Saturn.
2. Saturn breaks 3 of the deers legs and disembowels the deer.
3. Saturn continues to move underneath the deer, propelling it onto my windshield.
4. aformentioned deer poops.

I need to find another car or find a hood, windshield, and fender for this one. But I'm ok. The deer is not. I still win.