Brian's summertime iced latte

I have experimented for a long time with espresso drinks. I don't always drink espresso concoctions, nor do I know what the hell a mochafrappucino is. Nor do I care if it's grande size (pronounced grand-day, which you will be corrected by the snooty Starbuck's dork that it's not a medium, who will also let you know many other things that you don't know about coffee, but I digress because it irritates me).
I do know how to make good iced latte's and cappacinos.

My summertime iced latte:
(try anything, anytime, in any amount if you like)

Dump the following into a 1½ - 2 quart heat resistant pitcher in this order

4 to 6 measures of very hot espresso (get to know how much a measure is)
1 - 14oz can of sweetened condensed milk
2 cups of hot steamed skim milk
Fill pitcher to the top with ice. Stir. Enjoy over more ice.

For those of you who have read the nutitional label on a can of sweetened condensed milk, you realize why eating the stuff could clog your arteries, make you fat, and give you a stroke from just one serving. Therefore, I have created the "light" version, which I think is just as wonderful:

4 to 6 measures of very hot espresso
5 cups of hot steamed skim milk
Sweeten to taste with clover honey, or you could even try maple syrup (I know where to get some)
Fill pitcher to the top with ice. Stir. Enjoy over more ice.

I know it's not complicated, or very top secret to those of you who know how to make coffee drinks, so what's your point?

Oh Sh&*$%!

The picture is almost self-explainatory.

So, I'll explain anyway. Just before leaving work to head to class, I sat down at my office desk. The fibers of denim in my jeans decided to part ways, for good. My quick thinking, intellect, and intuition at a moment like that was just about useless. All I could do was stretch my polo shirt downward...really far down. (I am amazed at how far a polo shirt will travel south). I then left work, heading to the convenient Fleet Farm next door to my plant in Hudson in search of a pair of Wranglers. Don't make fun of Wranglers by the way, I haven't had any of them do this to me yet...
"Here comes Wrangler and he's one tough customer, and he knows what he likes when he sees it....WRANGLER!"
I apologize to the cashier at Fleet Farm who was subjected to embarassing emotional scars left upon her cerebrum that day. The therapy might help her.

Desensitized

After the horrific murders at Virginia Tech, I thought the next day might be different. I thought that students that sit around me in class would be mournful, sad, concerned, angry, maybe even bitter, but they weren't. A few mentioned "that sucks" in passing, which only sounded like what you say right before you try to get out of a crappy boring conversation.
One of my professors (that I really look up to) asked that we spend the first 10 minutes of class talking about the Virginia Tech shootings. One of the guys said "what happened in Virginia?", to which I thought of how someone who stares at his laptop connected to the internet through entire class periods could not know! Two others claimed they heard about a shooting, but said they didn't know much about it. A few more had read the online updates and knew how many people were dead, and even the order of events, but still they were talking about it as if it was just another news story.
I was baffled and wondered if I was the only person in there who really knew the extent of what happened by it's effect on me. Then it dawned on me (and this is only my theory, I'm not a sociologist), this era of students have never known a world without regular school shootings, post office massacres, and the like. To them, the world works like that. And that's how it is. And they can't change that. If they could, they won't.

You never know who you'll see on TV.

Watch this very important video about the train show in Menomonie...

Watch this with someone you really love.

I'm sorry for the You-Tube post. Deal with it.

From MTV's classic show "The State"

What the hell happened? Follow up story.

Remember a few months ago I posted a picture of a mouse stuck in a tree? In fact, here it is.

Anyway, I heard that this might be a common way for birds of prey to store their food safely until they are hungry enough to eat it. So, I introduce you to:
The Loggerhead Shrike
<--notice the mouse in the fence

"The Loggerhead Shrike is a predator, but it does not have the strong feet and talons of a raptor. It does have a strongly hooked bill for gripping flesh, and a strong notch or "tooth" near the bill tip that helps sever the spinal cord of its prey. It uses thorns and barbed wire to hold large prey while it rips it up, and may wedge prey into a fork in a branch for the same purpose." -Cornell Lab of Orinthology

I could be at work in 8.23 minutes (49 miles)

Sorry kids. Jesus was driving.

How important the weather really is.

Now that we are about to enter the "weather forecast season", here's a few thoughts.

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning." -George Carlin

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather." -Michael Pritchard

BTW, I took the photo...then went home to change my shorts.

No longer a hypocrite - April Fool's edition

After much deliberation and reading at the PETA web site, I have made the decision to eliminate having pets. PETA's extensive research and investigation has revealed that "animals have an interest in leading their own lives; therefore, they are not ours to use—for food, clothing, entertainment, experimentation, or any other reason." So, we have done the only responsible thing we can do. This morning our goldfish and African Mbuna were released into the creek so they may live outside of a cruel cramped tank. Both dogs, the guinea pigs, and rabbit have been released into the woods where they naturally belong. I will miss them and tearfully hope that they will visit our yard someday.

Update: Both dogs made it to highway 64 and were struck by an SUV at 8 a.m. The rabbit and guinea pigs were happily chewing on twigs right before they were torn to pieces by two red-tailed hawks. The goldfish and Mbuna are lying frozen on the creekbank. At least I can say that I am not a hypocrite and have allowed nature to be nature.

I go to Lakewood Church now. - April Fool's edition

When life gets you down, and you just can't find hope in Christ, remember, there's always Joel Osteen from Lakewood Church. Keep in mind that prosperity and good health are promised to all Christians and that we should focus on the goodness of God instead of our sin. After all, isn't the church all about what we can get out of it? Let's milk it for all it's worth and suck all the marrow out of every bone the Church has, because Joel has promised us our prosperity. Why have I been working so hard, just to find out that the answers were this easy? I think Joel rocks and you should too. Take a moment to reflect on the Joel and what he has done for you.

Why Evolution Works - April Fool's edition

I would like to introduce you to the world of evolution. I can't believe I haven't fallen in love with this concept sooner. All we are is just cells, did you know that? And in each of these cells is the chromosome data to create an entire being. In each cell, there is approximately 5 or 6 feet of DNA within the chromosomes. After all, DNA is just a chemical (sugar chain) that undergoes a few simple reactions. In fact the shortest chromosome we have (the X) is only 58 million pairs long. In total, all of the DNA only totals about 3 billion pairs of molecules. Such small numbers as these easily could form on a petri dish somewhere. When DNA splits to form into two cells, there is a massive 170 mutations while the 3 billion pairs replicate. When there are errors, they are repaired with DNA glycosylases. These repairing chemicals run up and down the strands of DNA to find an incorrect sequence, then repair it. They allow 1 defective letter in 40,000 pages of text. Remember it's no big deal, it's just a chemical reaction that anybody could do. I can't understand why you believe in anything else.