I go to Lakewood Church now. - April Fool's edition

When life gets you down, and you just can't find hope in Christ, remember, there's always Joel Osteen from Lakewood Church. Keep in mind that prosperity and good health are promised to all Christians and that we should focus on the goodness of God instead of our sin. After all, isn't the church all about what we can get out of it? Let's milk it for all it's worth and suck all the marrow out of every bone the Church has, because Joel has promised us our prosperity. Why have I been working so hard, just to find out that the answers were this easy? I think Joel rocks and you should too. Take a moment to reflect on the Joel and what he has done for you.