Sunday, April 1, 2007

No longer a hypocrite - April Fool's edition

After much deliberation and reading at the PETA web site, I have made the decision to eliminate having pets. PETA's extensive research and investigation has revealed that "animals have an interest in leading their own lives; therefore, they are not ours to use—for food, clothing, entertainment, experimentation, or any other reason." So, we have done the only responsible thing we can do. This morning our goldfish and African Mbuna were released into the creek so they may live outside of a cruel cramped tank. Both dogs, the guinea pigs, and rabbit have been released into the woods where they naturally belong. I will miss them and tearfully hope that they will visit our yard someday.

Update: Both dogs made it to highway 64 and were struck by an SUV at 8 a.m. The rabbit and guinea pigs were happily chewing on twigs right before they were torn to pieces by two red-tailed hawks. The goldfish and Mbuna are lying frozen on the creekbank. At least I can say that I am not a hypocrite and have allowed nature to be nature.

5 comments:

Danielle said...

just don't go eating any of those carcasses or your back to hypocrisy Mr........

Robocarp said...

I want to go to a PETA rally sometime just so I can so what it looks like up close and truly find out how B.S. smells

TWaits said...

Just remember, the PETA site for kids says that fish are people too.

Anonymous said...

My son said that a couple of weeks ago, the school lunch had fish on the menu and one of the kids at his table was wearing that shirt (I think it's from Finding Nemo, actually). I asked him how that went, and he said, "It was a little uncomfortable, but we still ate the fish."
Even I thought that was funny.

A said...

I live at home with my lil' guinea piggy, Dervy. He sometimes squeals loudly when I'm opening the fridge, crinkling plastic, frying meat. I frequently remind him that this is what he would smell like if it were him I was cooking. Does that sound absolutely nuts? Well, what do you expect? I'm talking out loud to an animal. At least there is no one else around to hear me.

Don't get too uptight over this. He knows I'm joking. He told me so himself. . .